Page 33 - Potted History 2017

janitor. He was said to be a your exams or not’. The onus was around all the private schools at of the teachers were regarded as of getting off-bounds. I would was another name for homework.
Russian, but as he spoke little or squarely on me. As a result, in my the time, teaching the “noble art” sadistic. Mostly when someone put on my shorts, a singlet and A housemaster would supervise
no English it was impossible to day at least, Hale boys did not do as he called it. He had a crooked was caned they deserved it. A mild sandshoes and go and see the each class doing its prep, but
tell. He was a small man, almost outstandingly in the Junior and nose, a grotesque cauliflower ear form of cruelty was the nicknames Duty Housemaster and request basically you did what you liked,
a dwarf, but powerfully built Leaving Exams, but they were and addled brains as testimony to bestowed on many boys, often permission to get on with my so long as you kept your mouth
and he wore a heavy beard and always successful at university. its nobility. relating to physical appearance or training as a cross-country runner. shut and did not leave your desk.
long unkempt hair. He seemed disabilities. I can remember Boof, Anything to do with sport was Many of the boys spent prep
to have only two jobs: chopping Furthermore, sport was regarded My father and elder sister Jill Corkhead, No-Neck, Blackbeard, OK, so permission would be writing letters home.
the wood for the kitchen stoves as almost as important as were keen tennis players, and I Granny, Scrubby, Beefy, Dog, automatically given. I would then
and hot water system up at the scholarship at Hale School. One had learned the rudiments of the Duck, Rooballs, Tubby and many trot off down Havelock Street and After prep it was back to the
boarding house, and cleaning the afternoon a week was officially game from them, but my main others. I was called ‘Underpants’ cross over into Kings Park and Boarding House and into bed. We
school lavatories. He was the first given over to competitive sports, introduction to stroke-making for a while, but this was too much spend the next two hours or so slept in three great dormitories,
person I ever saw splitting jarrah and we placed cricket in the and serving came from Max of a mouthful and was soon quietly walking or jogging around each with about 30 beds, and
foot-blocks into firewood billets summer, football in the winter, Bonner, the school professional. abbreviated to ‘Uns’. Both my the cycle paths through the each bed with a tiny locker in
using a full-size axe held in one athletics (track and field, as it is Max was a laid-back, suave man, brother and I were addressed as bushland, listening to the birds, which you kept your personal
hard by its throat, while he turned known today) in the spring and darkly burnt by a lifetime on the ‘Uns’ for most of our Hale School and sniffing the wildflowers. It was belongings. At a given time,
and steadied the foot-block with tennis in the autumn. courts, his eyes hidden behind days. a great psychological relief and slightly different for each Dorm,
the other hand. As I found out mirror sunglasses, and his black outlet. Similarly, one afternoon a the housemaster would come
years later, this took extraordinary At other times we swam, rowed, hair slicked back with brilliantine. The year my brother and I spent week I would take the tram down in and check that each bed was
strength, concentration and a played hockey, shot rifles, entered He was one of the first tennis as boarders was a significant part Murray Street for my music lesson, occupied, turn off the lights, and
good eye. On lavatory cleaning life saving competitions or professionals in Perth. of our education. The school and part of the great pleasure of lock the doors.
duties, he would stride around boxed. I was in everything, with boarding house was a world apart. this was the sense of freedom it
the school in rubber boots with the exception of boxing which I He made a good living moving Here, unlike at home, life was gave me. Lights out would signify sleep
a coil of hose in one hand and regarded then, and still do today, from one school to another all highly regimented. You awoke for some, mischief for others. I
a bucket of disinfectant in the as a ridiculous pursuit. The only over the metropolitan area, to a morning bell, showered and The aspect of boarder life I can remember some wonderful
other, muttering gutterally to boxing match (in fact the only giving his classes, and later, dressed as one body, and then disliked most was the evenings. arguments in the dark in C Dorm
himself, presumably in Russian. fight) I have ever had in my life, when pro tennis was starting to trooped down to the dining We would be assembled for when I was there, one or two of
His lavatory-cleaning technique was the so-called ‘Boarder’s Fight’. become acceptable, he became room for breakfast. Afterwards dinner and marched in, seven which ended up in blows….
was quick and effective: the whole a promoter, bring the big name there was an hour to fill in before or eight to a table. The masters
interior of the toilet block would This was a compulsory boxing players to Perth. school classes commenced, and would then arrive and one of them In retrospect, I am grateful for
be sluiced down by application match which every new board in wintertime (which I remember would intone grace (invariably having experienced the year of
of a jet of water from the hose to had to enter – three one-minute His teaching methods can be most clearly) this was usually spent “For what we are about to receive boarding school. It opened my
walls, floors, doors, windows and rounds with some other new described as ‘tennis by numbers’. trying to get warm. The boarding may the Lord make us truly eyes to a new world, far removed
ceilings, followed by a strategic boarder, or a selected opponent, Thirty or so schoolboys would house was completely unheated grateful’). Then dinner would be from the soft and privileged life
sloshing of the contents of the and they were fierce encounters. stand in a row facing him on the and the upstairs dormitories served. Finishing the main course I led at home. There I had been
bucket. He was known to us all as My brother and I both had to go court. ‘One!’ shouted Max, and were bitterly cold. At lunchtime (usually boiled mutton and vegies) used to the freedom to come
‘Old Phenyle’. through this ritual. He remembers we would all take our rackets back, there was another meal in the and sweets (most often rice or and go, to my mother cooking
coming to me in great trepidation pointing at the back fence. On the dining room and then back to tapioca pudding) was compulsory superb meals and generally being
Looking back, I also think now for my advice, and me telling him command ‘Two!’ we would put our school until classes ended. The – you were not allowed to leave concerned about my day-to-day
that the teaching culture at Hale “to dance about and keep the front foot across and sweep the afternoons were usually spent the table until your plates were welfare and my father taking
was a good one, even if this may gloves in front of your face”. I racket to the hitting position. On wandering around the empty empty. Most of us were always an affectionate interest in my
not have been a result of school can’t remember if I followed this ‘three!’ we would flourish a follow- school grounds, playing hand-ball hungry and had no trouble with schooling and sporting life. At
policy. It was made clear to us that excellent advice myself – in fact through and fall over. We would against a wall, kicking a football this requirement – we would also Boarding School I was not much
if we were to succeed it was up to I have managed to expunge all then go through the serve and the down on the grass, or ‘training’. wolf down multiple slabs of bread more than a number to the adult
us – we would not be drummed memory of this abysmal event volley in the same manner. I don’t The latter was my great escape. I and jam. After dinner we would world. Basically I had to look after
into scholars. I can remember one entirely from my brain. There was remember tennis balls ever being have never been much of a long file off back down to the school myself, or go under. By the same
master making this very explicit a specialist boxing master, Danny part of the lesson. distance runner, but I re-invented again and there sit in the same token, the boys I was thrown
to me once. ‘Underwood’, he Ryan, who came to the school myself as one when I became classroom we had occupied all together with in C Dorm treated
said ‘what you have to realise is regularly to coach the boxing Hale in my days was largely free of a boarder, because this was day for yet another hour or two, me as a mate, and looked after
that I get paid whether you pass team. Danny plied his trade cruelty and bullying. One or two one of the few legitimate ways for what was called ‘prep’. Prep me when I was a newcomer to